On Small-Minded, Nasty People

And why I have no use for them.

This morning, I reviewed an interesting comment left in this blog’s Guest Book. It had been held for moderation, which means I have to review and approve it before it appears online.

Nasty for No Reason

The comment was one of the nastiest I’ve ever read. The person who decided to try to ruin my day told me that this site was like a garage that needed clearing out — or something like that; I didn’t preserve his words for posterity. He told me I should delete anything over six months old. He said he’d come to find information about my books but that he wasn’t willing to use the “convoluted” (his word) methods needed to find content here. He finished up by saying he was an editor — imagine that! — and that he now has no interest in any of my books.

Whew!

He evidently forgot to mention the problem with his eyesight that prevented him from seeing links clearly marked “Books” and “Articles” in the NavBar at the top of the page. He also appeared to miss the note in the description of this site — which appears “above the fold” on the Home page — that clearly said support for my books had been moved to Maria’s Guides. And that Search feature at the top of the site navigation column — I suppose the label “Search This Site” isn’t clear enough. And I guess I couldn’t expect him to scroll down on any page of the site to see the list of books supported with the links to content related to those books.

Convoluted? The only way I could make this site easier to navigate is to take control of his computer while he’s online here and guide his mouse to the link he needs.

He probably spent more time wording and editing his comment than he did looking around the site for the content he evidently wasn’t so interested in in the first place.

I deleted his comment, as I do with any other nasty comment that serves no purpose other than to rudely criticize me or someone else. I think that if he had presented his opinions more courteously, I would have given them some real consideration. But since his comment was obviously posted as a personal attack on me, I threw it away with the rest of the crap I encounter online.

On Bottom Dwellers

But it reminded me that there’s a lot of bottom-dwellers out there, looking to bring other people down to their level. The Internet is full of them and the worst thing you can give any of them is a keyboard and a form to fill in with their rude and destructive comments. I know bloggers who have turned off the commenting feature on their blogs because of the amount of crap like this that they get. Other bloggers let it run rampant in their comments, letting it feed the other bottom dwellers lurking out there until there’s nothing mature or civil about their blogs. As we’ve seen in the past, that can quickly get out of hand.

What these bottom-dwellers clearly do not understand is that my blog is mine. I decide on the design, I decide on the content, I decide on how long to keep blog posts, I even decide whether a comment is appropriate on a post. If he doesn’t like my site, he can go somewhere else — there’s enough content out there for everyone. As my mother would say, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

14 thoughts on “On Small-Minded, Nasty People

  1. Sorry you got this crap. Most of these type of people wouldn’t have the guts to say it to your face. Most of them are small minded, bitter people that don’t deserve to be on the net anyways.

    Keep up the great work, strap a 50 cal. to the skids and go find him!!!

  2. Thanks, Bob. I like that idea.

    Oddly enough, the Editor of Vertical magazine just wrote up an editorial saying much the same thing about the people who frequent the magazine’s forums. It’s amazing that a handful of immature idiots have to screw it up (or try to) for the rest of us.

    I sure do appreciate your support!

  3. Wow, I must add a quick comment here. I have no particular interest in helicopters, or Wickenburg, or books on computers (although all are growing on me to an extent) but I really, really like your blog, and one of the main reasons I so much like it and keep coming back, is because it is so immaculately well organised.

    I am employed to manage information (much of it electronic) and so I really appreciate having ‘a blog consumer moment’ which is relaxing because nothing jars.

    To say there’s anything muddled about your blog is like claiming the BBC is short on news. Your blog is a model of clarity. It is the very model of a blog!

  4. Thank you so much for your kind words. I know it isn’t perfect — I had a heck of a time finding a specific article just this morning — but I don’t think it’s as bad as the whiner claimed.

    He probably has trouble finding his shoes every morning, too.

  5. Maria,

    I’m also sorry that you get comments like this. Having been intimately involved in online communities for well over a decade, I’ve learned that this sort of behavior is an unfortunate side effect of the Internet.

    These people like to hide behind their computers and their anonymity and cowardly hurl insults at people who have the courage to put themselves out there because they don’t measure up themselves. Sadly, this sours the online experience for too many.

    I’ve personally dealt with my fair share of online abuse. I won’t go into specifics here because it’s sure to show up in search engines. All but a couple of these people I’ve never met in person, and they’re all the bottom-dwellers you describe.

    Over the last couple years, I’ve taken the approach of just ignoring their activities completely. I’m no longer active in the communities where they troll but when I occasionally revisit to stay connected with friends, I refuse to acknowledge their existence. They can say what they want about me, I know what’s true, and I keep moving on and doing my thing.

    That said, I really enjoy your blog. I’m studying for my private pilot’s license and dream of flying airplanes (and possibly helicopters one day). I love reading about your flying adventures and as a Mac user I appreciate your Apple commentary as well.

    Best wishes,

    Tim

  6. Hi Maria,

    I’ve recently started blogging and read your experience of unwanted blog comments with interest. This weekend I have received several comments on my blog from an unknown critic. Some of them I deleted because they were potentially libellous. Some of them I deleted because they cast aspertions on me personally. And some of them I deleted because they were lame. I then decided to tick the box marked comment moderation. Today I have received two more ‘comments’ from this critic, furious that I am moderating my comments, and telling me that he/she is going to tell all their blog followers not to read my blog. I only started my blog to give me another outlet for my writing… now I feel as though I’m being cyberbullied!

    Liz’s last blog post: Hello dolly

    • You ARE being cyber-bullied.

      My advice: allow the comments you want to allow and delete the ones you don’t. It’s YOUR blog — you have every right to say what appears there. Just ignore the bully completely — don’t even acknowledge any communication from him. He will eventually go away. They always do. They’ll find someone else to get a rise out of and forget all about you.

      Good luck!

  7. @Liz Would you expect someone to behave that way if you’d invited them into your home? “Hey, what awful curtains! That couch stinks! This dinner’s not fit for the pigs!”

    I think if they did that you’d show them the door pretty quickly.

    As Maria says, your blog is *your* blog. You can do what you like with it.

    I routinely delete comments from my blog if I consider them spam or as having zero value. I edit out four letter words I don’t choose to have appear on my blog. My blog is my public ‘home’ – visitors are there at my discretion, and they behave in ways I find acceptable or they’re out the door.

    And if this fellow has friends who would behave in the way he has behaved, then I doubt you’d want them visiting anyway.

    If you can identify his IP address from any future comments he leaves, just add his address to your blacklist and keep him out for good.

    Cheers,

    Miraz

    Miraz Jordan’s last blog post: Mac choices in Wellington reduce

  8. There are alot of uneducated idiots out there on the super information Highway who have no life no jobs no manners of none whatsoever they want to be a complete stupidity of whom they nothing about! All they are a bunch of looser who want attention !

  9. The more time I spend online, the more I am convinced that the “net” imitates life. Negative people spew venom and hate in a haphazard fashion to anyone who cares to listen, while the positive folks will find ways to support and champion others.

    If you wouldn’t spend your time with these folks in real life, it makes no sense to spend time with them online. The “negatrons” that are lucky eventually see the light…or continue to lead a constricted existence. In the meantime, birds of a feather flock together…we can all find a place where our needs are met…for better or for worse!

    It’s all an interesting study in the human condition, nevertheless.

  10. I had to smile when I read your commentary of February 29th, 2008. It was just what I needed to read today. On my social network page, I had posted ongoing information I had received about a small child (6 yr old nephew) who had been hit by a 16 yr old who was speeding and went around a stopped bus. A niece from a different family of mine, blasted everyone posting about the 16 yr old and the fact that he had almost killed the 6 yr old. She was f’n this and f’n that, telling everyone how awesome the 16 yr old was (her kid is on the same wrestling team); then in the next breath say it is unfortunate the 6yr old and his family had to go through this; but everyone should feel sorry for the 16 yr old. Blew me away for sure. So, all in all it was nice to read this blog.

    • MaryAnn: I think the problem is that people don’t THINK about a situation from all sides before commenting on it. How could a 16-year-old, speeding, breaking the law by driving around a school bus be excused in any way for hitting a small child? How could such a teen be defended in any way? And WHY should he be defended? Part of the process of forgiveness and moving forward is to admit the mistake, apologize for it, and do what you can to make it better. People defending the teen’s actions are, in essence, saying that he doesn’t need to do any of this. There’s something seriously WRONG with that approach.

      Hope the little kid is okay and the teen realizes the seriousness of what he’s done.

  11. I enjoy reading your blog. You write succinctly, and about interesting items! Don’t let the trolls get you down. I know you won’t..carry on and blog away, you have many fans!

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