Tag Archives: language

Interesting Links, December 27, 2010

Posted on by
Comment

Here are links I found interesting on December 27, 2010:

  • Creative Mistakes Can Lead to Lively Writing – We all confuse words from time to time, sometimes when we speak them and sometimes when we hear them. We have slips of the lips — and of the ear. For historical and literary reasons, we call the first a “malapropism” and the second a “mondegreen.”
  • Auditors question TSA’s use of and spending on technology – "TSA has an obsession of finding a single box that will solve all its problems….They've spent and wasted money looking for that one box, and there is no such solution….They respond to congressional mandates and the latest headlines of attempted terrorist attacks without any thought to risk management or separating out the threats in a logical way." Read more in the Washington Post.
  • 8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews – This is way too funny. Dare you to read it without laughing so hard that you cry. On Cracked.com.

Interesting Links, December 17, 2010

Posted on by
Comment

Here are links I found interesting on December 17, 2010:

  • TSA misses enormous, loaded .40 calibre handgun in carry-on bag – "A man who flew out of Houston's George Bush airport discovered a loaded handgun in his carry-on bag after landing; he'd forgotten he was carrying it and the eagle-eyed TSA screeners were too busy ogling his penis to spot the loaded gun in the nearly empty bag from which he'd dutifully removed his laptop. " Read more on BoingBoing.
  • Introducing Word Lens – Too cool for words…in any language.
  • Humbug: Glenn Beck Charges $125 A Ticket In Ohio Town With 15.8% Unemployment – "Glenn Beck sells himself as the everyman populist, but only an out of touch egomaniac would attempt to go to a town where unemployment is running rampant and literally sell the message, at hundreds of dollars a pop, that these people need to stop whining and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps." Read more on PoliticsUSA.com. For the record: Glenn Beck makes me sick.

What Do You Do When the RIGHT Word is a BAD Word?

Posted on by
6

Use the bad word?

I’m trying to write a blog post about a problem I’ve seen that makes the people with this problem seem….well, like assholes.

I can list a bunch of equally “bad” words here, but since I know some of my clients read this, I thought I’d keep it as close to PG rated as I could.

And that’s the problem. I want a word that isn’t one of those “bad” words. I want a word that’s perfectly acceptable in polite company.

Restrained by Niceties

The closest almost polite word I can come up with is jerk, and even that has connotations that are questionable. Besides, it’s not strong enough. These people are beyond jerks. They’re…well, what?

It’s unfortunate that certain words, on their own, should be considered so objectionable that we simply don’t utter them in polite company. George Carlin riffed on this in his famous “The Seven Words” routine. (If you have never seen this routine or haven’t seen it in a while, watch this video. It’s more than just a list of bad words. Carlin was a genius when it came to language.) The reluctance to use “bad” words just makes it difficult for people to express themselves accurately. The word I want is asshole, but I don’t think it’s right to use it because it might offend someone. So I scratch around for the right word and only come up with more of the same.

The Meaning I Want to Convey

Asshole, DefinedThe Thesaurus in my Mac, which I don’t use very often, was no help. It didn’t even include asshole (although the Dictionary did, as shown here).

When I looked up jerk, the synonyms were just as mild as jerk is. Ass was only included because it referred to an animal as well, but it also included the secondary meaning with these wimpy synonyms:

idiot, dolt, simpleton, imbecile; dimwit, halfwit, dummy, dum-dum, loon, jackass, cretin, jerk, fathead, blockhead, jughead, boob, bozo, buffoon, numbskull, numbnuts, lummox, dunce, moron, meatball, doofus, ninny, nincompoop, dipstick, lamebrain, chump, peabrain, thickhead, dumb-ass, wooden-head, pinhead, airhead, birdbrain; nitwit, twit, turkey, goofball, putz; dated tomfool, muttonhead

The word I want doesn’t mean stupid because of some kind of mental deficiency, as these words suggest. It means stupid and offensive because of a mean streak and/or complete lack of regard for other people. That’s what an asshole is, isn’t it?

How about Dick?

Phil Plait used the word dick recently in a speech he gave to a mixed crowd at a skeptics event in Las Vegas this summer. (Highly recommended folks; it’ll help you understand how to be more convincing when trying to make a point.) It might be the least offensive of the words I’ve been able to come up with. But like sucks, I have difficulty using it — partially because I’ve had friends named Dick. (Poor guys.)

What do you, dear reader, think? Is dick okay? Not quite as strong as I want, but the meaning is pretty much there.

Any suggestions? I can’t write the blog post until I have the right word and I do want to get it written. What do you think?

On Limited Literacy

Posted on by
7

Is it wrong to be prejudiced against people who don’t even try to be literate?

I mentioned in my blog that I sometimes allow rated helicopter pilots to fly my aircraft on ferry flights for my flight cost. This is a substantial savings over what they’d pay to rent an aircraft to build time. In addition, they get the chance to fly a long cross-country flight (usually around 10 hours over two days) with an experienced pilot.

I get e-mails from people who are interested in this opportunity. The most recent arrived yesterday:

Yes sir i was intrested in biulding some time i am a commercial rated pilot with 250hr most in a robinson 22 i really need this chance to fly thank you for your time.

Although he managed to capitalize the first letter of the first word and put a period after the last word everything in between is a mess. Spelling? Punctuation? Is this what our schools are churning out?

Keep in mind that he sent me this message using the contact form on my Web site. A Web site that displays my name in the browser’s address bar when viewed. A web site that includes my name, bio, and other information in all kinds of places. Yet he addressed me as “sir.” I figured he’d somehow missed that I was a woman.

Still, the whole message put me in a foul mood. My response got to the point:

Do you have an R44 endorsement?

Maria

Without an R44 endorsement and 10 hours of flight time in R44s, you cannot fly an R44 with a passenger (even me) aboard. No exceptions.

Note that I included my name, just in case he really did miss it the first time.

His reply:

no sir im afraid i do not have it i would be willing to get one if you could let me know what it would take to get one thanks for your time

He didn’t even bother trying to get capitalization or punctuation right this time. Perhaps his shift key broke.

And I wasn’t about to let him get away with “sir” again. I replied:

First of all, I’m not a “sir.” Maria is a woman’s name. You sent an e-mail message to the woman who owns and operates the company and flies the aircraft.

If you don’t have an R44 endorsement, you cannot fly the aircraft. I’m sorry. If you want to get an R44 endorsement, talk to a flight school that operates R44s.

Maria

I’m bugged by this exchange. I’m bugged that someone bordering on illiterate — or too damn lazy to even try to get his spelling, punctuation, or grammar right — has the nerve to ask if he can fly my aircraft. There’s no way in hell I’d let anyone who communicates like that at the controls.

Being a commercial pilot is more than just taking flight lessons and getting the appropriate ratings. If this guy can’t write, how do I know he can read? That he understands the training materials he was given? That he took the time to read the pilot operating manual?

You might argue that he must have because he passed a written and oral test — two of each, in fact — to get as far as he did. But how do I know the quality of his CFI or pilot examiner? Or in the case of sheer laziness, if he’s too lazy to create two short e-mail messages written in proper grammar, why should I do him any favors at all? Frankly, I think even responding to him was going beyond the call of duty here.

Am I wrong to believe that written communication should be created with some semblance to proper grammar? Am I wrong to thumb my nose at people who fail to meet even the lowest tests of their ability to communicate in writing by composing two or three complete sentences?

Is this what our schools are churning out?

Computer Gender

Posted on by
Comment

Start the New Year with a laugh.

I got this from a relative of mine who occasionally sends funnies in e-mail. I thought I’d reproduce it here. I have no idea what the source is, but if you know or if it’s yours, let me know. I’ll either properly attribute it or remove it as required. (Unlike other Web site owners out there, I comply with copyright law.)

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

House for instance, is feminine: la casa. Pencil, however, is masculine: el lapiz.

A student asked, “What gender is computer?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computadora), because:

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (el computador), because:

  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
  2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;  
  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
  4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Apologies to the men out there.

And to keep thing straight, I need to point out that my computer’s built-in translator claims computer, in Spanish, is el ordenador.