An attempt to make myself feel better about a serious bad hair situation.
On Tuesday afternoon, I got my hair cut.
I told her to take off about half the length of my hair. (I like my hair short.) She started well — for a moment, I actually saw the Maria I like to see in the mirror. But then she lost control. She kept cutting. And cutting. And cutting.
I was afraid to make her stop. I was afraid one side would be left longer than the other.
She took off about 90% of my hair. It lay in piles on the floor.
I left there with the shortest hair I’ve ever had in my life.
I was born with more hair on my head.
So I figured I’d try to console myself by listing the pros and cons of having hair this short for the first time in my life.
|After 30 years, I finally get to see what color my hair really is.||I have to see what color my hair really is.|
|It should be really easy to dye my hair.||If I dye my hair, I’ll have to do it again in two weeks when it’s twice as long.|
|I don’t have to comb my hair.||I don’t have enough hair to comb.|
|I don’t have to deal with tangles.||I don’t have enough hair to tangle.|
|I can check the health of my scalp.||I can see my scalp.|
|I don’t have to worry about hat-head.||I have to wear a hat.|
|I finally get to wear some of my hats.||I have to wear a hat.|
|Short hair is really nice in hot weather.||It’s autumn.|
|I look like a very healthy cancer survivor.||I look like a cancer survivor.|
|(I didn’t really have cancer.)||People I meet are uncomfortable, wondering whether they should ask about my cancer treatment.|
|People will be convinced that I got my helicopter flight training in the military.||I was never in the military.|
|I won’t have to get my hair cut again for at least three months.||I’d rather have hair to cut.|
|I have an excuse not to go out in public.||I’m too embarrassed to go out in public.|
Can I think of any more? I probably will. I’ll add them above.
Oddly, I just joked with a Facebook friend who is hair-challenged — not his choice — that hair is overrated. I take that back. I wish I had my hair back.
And no. I won’t share a picture. I’ll be lying low for a while.